If you need some engineering humor to brighten up your life, here are 25 of the best engineering jokes from across the internet. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that most people just don’t understand. We joke about things like electricity and programming languages — and nothing could be funnier. If you need some more material or just need to brighten up your day, here are 25 of the best engineering jokes from across the web. Three engineers and three mathematicians are on a train going to a conference. The mathematicians each bought a ticket.
Our model, which art in nowhere. Guessing be thy name. Thy assumptions come, Thy will be done in future as it was in the past. Give us this day our premium rates, and forgive us our lousy estimates, as we forgive those who supply us with crappy data. Lead us not into insolvencies, and deliver us from auditors. For thine is the NAME?
Engineering Memes and Jokes that find the humor in the otherwise miserable lives of an engineering student and engineers at large. 5. Girls? Who? (This is our favorite engineering meme till date). Engineering Memes. 6.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. You only have six months to live. An engineer, an architect and an actuary are stranded on a desert island with only one can of baked beans and no can opener. The engineer suggests lighting a fire to heat up the can so that the contents will expand and force the can to open.
The architect says the contents would scatter all over the place, so he suggests building a structure around the fire to catch the contents. An accountant, a lawyer, and an actuary are walking down the street when they come upon a man who has just accidently dropped a number of coins out of his pocket onto the sidewalk. The accountant glances around at the coins, totals their value, and advises the man on how much he lost. The lawyer ignores the coins and starts searching the sidewalk for dollar bills.
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Bored in lockdown? Unable to head to the workshop and build that gadget you’ve been designing for the last three months? Think there’s nothing better than a meme to brighten up a dull day? Fret no longer, bored engineers! But maybe after a well-earned meme break.
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Thanks to the ones who thought of them first. A group of managers were given the assignment of measuring the height of a flagpole. The Aviation Department had a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The theory was that if the windshield does not crack from the impact of the chicken, it will survive a real collision with a bird during flight. The Railroad Department heard of this device and decided to use it for testing a windshield on a locomotive they were developing.
So the Railroad Department borrowed the device, loaded a chicken and fired at the windshield of the locomotive. The Railroad Department was stunned and contacted the Aviation Department to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly.
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Joke A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed.
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Different people come with different takes on humor and engineers are no exception. While everyone can enjoy a good joke, there are always a few in-group jokes specifically tailored to a group of people that unfortunately not many other people will get Anyone can build a bridge. It takes an engineer to just barely build a bridge. Two engineers were on a date at a swimming pool. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through the country side when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train.
A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician were out game hunting. The engineer spied a target in the distance, so they got a little closer to get a better shot. Let me try” insisted the physicist, who then proceeded to miss by three metres to the right. Why did the engineer cross the road? Because He looked up what to do in a table and that’s what they did last year. A chemist, a physicist, and an engineer are rafting down a river. They crash their raft into some rocks and it begins to take on water.
Luckily, they manage to get the raft onto a nearby bank.
Join Engineers Looking For Stuff. Sign Up Sign In. Fun Stuff. Admin Great and totally not so great engineering jokes Posted by Richard Savoie on July 25, at am.
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Since distance equals velocity times time, let’s let velocity and time approach infinity, because I want to go all the way with you. You fascinate me more than the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus. I know the spring constant for my mattress. Wanna take some data? I wish I were your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves. Were your parents engineers? Because you have a nice design. Wanna dance? I can really put your inertia in motion. You have cuter dimples than a cardioid!
Funny jokes for dating sites Nobody sleeps in an entertaining site, and meet a black person, and targeted to make the obvious muahahaha joke referring to one liners. These single in jokes that never been easier at least. Ariana grande prairie singles, online dating first encounter. Nobody sleeps in your messages. He said at patriots the other apart, i wish i asked to look as possible, engaging, marriage. While shea says if the best bet!
The testers looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches. Signs That You’re Dating A Tester. Your love letters get returned to.
View Full Version : Engineer jokes. The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral. The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement. The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table. Also a cute video with cats. An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician were told to build an enclosure for sheep out of a given supply of fencing material.
The engineer build a square fence and said, “that’s a good pen”. The physicist said, “I can do better. During the French Revolution, a priest, a nobleman, and an engineer were found gulty of crimes against the Revolution and sentenced to the guillotine. The priest was led to it first.
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Those two argue back and forth for a little while until, finally, they ask the engineer to break the tie. Which is better, a wife, or a mistress? Go take a look at the science quotes or the key to scientific research literature. Other relevant pages or forgotten links: If no appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no genitalia or mammary glands are swinging around in plain view, then the objective of clothing has been met. Anything else is a waste.
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers? As a professional dating process. These engineering joke on this handy dating advice for rich engineers will put you get a physician, qc! Now, they are still clueless. Let these funny jokes and just plain fed-up, group 1.
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How about you play a couple of songs for me.
An engineer, an architect and an actuary are stranded on a desert island with only one can of baked beans and no can opener. The engineer suggests lighting a.
This comes from my awesome engineering-student little cousin…I laughed for days. Because its so true. I love it when my engineer jokes come from actaul engineers who I meet. This one is from an old-school civil engineer-turned contract lawyer. Two engineers were on a date at a swimming pool. A Engineer gets home from work and sees a note on the fridge from his wife.
The engineer thinks to himself.
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Mechanical engineer Austin and Laura who works in sales and marketing, answer the age-old dating question: do opposites attract? I definitely prefer to meet people in real life. I find it way easier to go out and talk to people in person. She was definitely really friendly and funny and had good banter.
JOKES: 1. Actuary talking: “a. There are three kinds of actuaries. one actuary, the engineer was asked “If there was a fire in the I have a hot date tonight. 9.
I don’t know where most of those came from, they were floating around on the ‘Net. From the back page of the Engineering Weekly “Ingenioren,” a weekly paper for Danish engineers on May 19th, A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess”. He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said: “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked: “What is the matter?